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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Years
Instead
Chairs
Would
Jesus
Electric
Christ
Wearing
Around
Killed
School
Twenty
Littles
Twenties
Aggravation
Little
Crosses
Catholicism
Children
Catholic
Necks

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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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Communism is like one big phone company.
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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