Quote

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Would
Jesus
Electric
Christ
Wearing
Around
Killed
School
Twenty
Littles
Twenties
Aggravation
Little
Crosses
Catholicism
Children
Catholic
Necks
Years
Instead
Chairs

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

Image
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Lenny Bruce
Image
TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
Lenny Bruce
Image
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
Lenny Bruce
Image
If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
Lenny Bruce
Image
Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce