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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Would
Jesus
Electric
Christ
Wearing
Around
Killed
School
Twenty
Littles
Twenties
Aggravation
Little
Crosses
Catholicism
Children
Catholic
Necks
Years
Instead
Chairs

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Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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