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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Would
Jesus
Electric
Christ
Wearing
Around
Killed
School
Twenty
Littles
Twenties
Aggravation
Little
Crosses
Catholicism
Children
Catholic
Necks
Years
Instead
Chairs
More quotes by Lenny Bruce
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
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Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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