Quote

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Children
Catholic
Necks
Years
Instead
Chairs
Would
Jesus
Electric
Christ
Wearing
Around
Killed
School
Twenty
Littles
Twenties
Aggravation
Little
Crosses
Catholicism

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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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