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I reach for funny books all the time to help me get through life.
Laurie Halse Anderson
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Laurie Halse Anderson
Age: 62
Born: 1961
Born: October 23
Novelist
Screenwriter
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Laurie Beth Halse
Books
Help
Funny
Helping
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Time
Life
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More quotes by Laurie Halse Anderson
Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Oppressive bastards, think they own the place. I told them that karma's going to kick their asses.
Laurie Halse Anderson
You’re not dead, but you’re not alive, either. You’re a wintergirl.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Art without emotion its like chocolate cake without sugar. It makes you gag.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I am not going to think about it. It was ugly, but it’s over, and I’m not going to think about it.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I sit at a table close to his desk. Ivy is in this class. She sits by the door. I keep staring at her, trying to make her look at me. That happens in movies - people can feel it when oother people stare at them and they just have to turn around and say something. Either Ivy has a great force field, or my lazer vision isn't very strong.
Laurie Halse Anderson
My first class is biology. I can't find it and get my first demerit for wandering the hall. It is 8:50 in the morning. Only 699 days and 7 class periods until graduation.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I live in the borderlands. The word ghost sounds like memory. The word therapy means exorcism. My visions echo and multiplymultiply. I don't know how to figure out what they mean. I can't tell where they start or if they will end. But I know this. If they shrink my head any more, or float me away on an ocean of pills, I will never return.
Laurie Halse Anderson
And then a new screen, one I had never seen before, never even heard of popped up. It gave me a choice. I could become the new Lord of Darkness myself, or I could take a gamble and be reincarnated. I chose wisely.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I watch some kids ask the cafeteria ladies to sign their books. What do they write: Hope your chicken patties never bleed? Or, maybe, May your Jell-O always wiggle?
Laurie Halse Anderson
Death is funny, when you think about it. Everybody does it, but nobody knows how, exactly how.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I wish I had cancer. I will burn in hell for that, but it's true.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I look at my homely sketch. It doesn't need anything. Even through the river in my eyes I can see that. It isn't perfect and that makes it just right.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I would never be popular. I didn't want to be I liked being shy. I'd never be the smartest or the hottest or the happiest. By eighth grade you start to figure out your limits.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Here stands a girl clutching a knife. There is grease on the stove, blood in the air, and angry words piled in the corners. We are trained not to see it, not to see any of it. . . . Someone just ripped off my eyelids.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I shake my head. I pick up the rake and start making the dead-leaf pile neater. A blister pops and stains the rake handle like a tear. Dad nods and walks to the Jeep, keys jangling in his fingers. A mockingbird lands on a low oak branch and scolds me. I rake the leaves out of my throat. Me: Can you buy some seeds? Flower seeds?
Laurie Halse Anderson
I am a gluttonous, gorging failure. A waste. My body isn’t used to high-sugar carbs laced with witchcraft. It can barely cope with soup and crackers.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I believe that you've created a metaphorical universe in which you can express your darkest fears. In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves, and sometimes we do such a good job, we lose track of reality.
Laurie Halse Anderson
It is easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.
Laurie Halse Anderson