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I reach for funny books all the time to help me get through life.
Laurie Halse Anderson
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Laurie Halse Anderson
Age: 62
Born: 1961
Born: October 23
Novelist
Screenwriter
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Laurie Beth Halse
Books
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Funny
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More quotes by Laurie Halse Anderson
I am a gluttonous, gorging failure. A waste. My body isn’t used to high-sugar carbs laced with witchcraft. It can barely cope with soup and crackers.
Laurie Halse Anderson
The constitution does not recognize different classes of citizenship based on time spent living in the country. I am a citizen, with the same rights as your son, or you. As a citizen, and as a student, I am protesting the tone of this lesson as racist, intolerant, and xenophobic.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I knew it! He pumps a fist into the air. You've fallen in love with me. You want to have my babies. We'll get a team of horses and a covered wagon and we'll journey to South America and raise goats.
Laurie Halse Anderson
You must walk alone to find your soul.
Laurie Halse Anderson
My first class is biology. I can't find it and get my first demerit for wandering the hall. It is 8:50 in the morning. Only 699 days and 7 class periods until graduation.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I am learning how to be angry and sad and lonely and joyful and excited and afraid and happy.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I have entered high school with the wrong hair, the wrong clothes, the wrong attitude. And I don't have anyone to sit with.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I stand in the center aisle of the auditorium, a wounded zebra in a National Geographic special, looking for someone, anyone to sit next to. A predator approaches: gray jock buzz cut, whistle around a neck thicker than his head. Probably a social studies teacher, hired to coach a blood sport.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Hannah was about to burst with excitement, which would have been disgusting because she would have sprayed blood, guts and glitter in every direction.
Laurie Halse Anderson
My English teacher has no face. She has uncombed stringy hair that droops on her shoulders. The hair is black from her part to her ears and then neon orange to the frizzy ends. I can't decide if she had pissed off her hairdresser or is morphing into a monarch butterfly. I call her Hairwoman.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Because I am still a little girl who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and you.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I wish adults would spend less energy freaking out about the cutting itself and work harder to understand what drives kids to self-harm.
Laurie Halse Anderson
If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem.
Laurie Halse Anderson
I make it through the first two weeks of school without a nuclear meltdown.
Laurie Halse Anderson
They mean hot like 'I'm too good for you I got my own money don't be frontin' me.' You're more like 'Be my boyfriend I'll make you cookies come meet my dad ' know what I mean
Laurie Halse Anderson
He says a million things without saying a word. I have never heard a more eloquent silence.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Censoring books that deal with difficult, adolescent issues does not protect anybody. Quite the opposite. It leaves kids in the darkness and makes them vulnerable. Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance. Our children cannot afford to have the truth of the world withheld from them
Laurie Halse Anderson
Each reader has to find her or his own message within a book.
Laurie Halse Anderson
Nothing is perfect. Flaws are interesting. Be the tree.
Laurie Halse Anderson
A little kid asks my dad why that man is chopping down the tree. Dad: He's not chopping it down. He's saving it. Those branches were long dead from disease. All plants are like that. By cutting off the damage you make it possible for the tree to grow again. You watch - by the end of summer, this tree will be the strongest on the block.
Laurie Halse Anderson