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And how she looked at me like I could save her from everything bad in he world. This was my secret: she was the one who saved me

Lauren Oliver

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Lauren Oliver
Age: 41
Born: 1982
Born: November 8
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Westchester County
New York
Like
World
Saved
Save
Looked
Secret
Everything

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They’d already taken her from me once. I didn’t want to lose her again.
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And it's the funniest thing: as soon as I see it, the whistling in my ears stops and the feeling of terror drains away, and I realize this whole time I haven't been falling at all. I've been floating.
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I'd rather die on my own terms than live on theirs. I'd rather die loving Alex than live without him.
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Love. I love you. I’ll always love you, my love. You are the love of my life.
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The whole point of growing up is learning to stay on the laughing side.
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I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.
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I want to know. His words are a whisper, barely audible. I want to know with you.
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I'm used to a feeling of doubleness, of thinking one thing and having to do another, a constant tug-of-war.
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It's as though the words are trapped, buried under past fears, past lives, like fossils compressed under layers of dirt.
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...and once at Hana's house, when we stole some blackberry liqueur from her parents' liquor cabinet and drank until the ceiling started spinning overhead. Hana was laughing and giggling, but I didn't like it, didn't like the sweet sick taste in my mouth or the way my thoughts seemed to break apart like a mist in the sun.
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For a second I feel a rush of sadness: for the horizons that vanish behind us, for the people we leave behind, the tiny-doll selves that get stored away and ultimately buried.
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People are like ants: Just a few of them give all the orders. And most of them spend their lives getting squashed.
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But this isn’t like anything I’ve ever seen, or imagined, or even dreamed: This is like music or dancing but better than both.
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There is nothing else for people to do. They do not think. They feel no passion, no hatred, no sadness they feel nothing but fear, and a desire to control. So they watch, and poke, and pry.
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Let me tell you something about dying: it's not as bad as they says. it's the coming-back-to-life part that hurts.
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The tunnels may be long, and twisted, and dark but you are supposed to go through them.
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You can't be happy unless you're unhappy sometimes.
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Nothing has ever been so painful or delicious as being so close to him and being unable to do anything about it: like eating ice cream so fast on a hot day you get a splitting headache.
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I need to live my life in the light of their deaths. I need to live.
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A string of bright white buildinh, glistening like teeth over the slurping mouth of the ocean.
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