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you have to understand. i wasn't just thinking of me. i was thinking of her, too.

Lauren Oliver

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Lauren Oliver
Age: 41
Born: 1982
Born: November 8
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Westchester County
New York
Wasn
Understand
Thinking

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I’ve never really had a party before.” “Why did you have one now?” I say, just to keep him talking. He gives a half laugh. “I thought if I had a party, you would come.
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I love you. Remember. And someday, I will find you again.
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Perhaps this was how the sparrows did it too perhaps they were looking so hard at the peaks and tips of the new rooftops coated with dew, and the vast new horizon, that they only forgot that they did not know how to fly until they were already in midair.
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If you cross a line and nothing happens, the line loses meaning.
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I'm starved for different light, a different sun,different sky.
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Everything ends, people move on, they don't look back. It's how they should be.
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The whole point of growing up is learning to stay on the laughing side.
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I remember Lena's expression when he knocked on the door and how Alex had looked at her when she finally let him into the storeroom. I remember exactly what he was wearing, too, and the mess of his hair, the sneakers with their blue-tinged laces. His right shoe was untied. He didn't notice. He didn't notice anything but Lena.
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That's all I want. Just you and me. Always.
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I just want to be normal, like everybody else. Are you sure that being like everybody else will make you happy?
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Funny how certain things stay with you.
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I want to be healed and whole and perfect again, like a misshapen slab of iron that comes out of the fire glowing, glittering, razor-sharp.
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I don't know how i stay on my feet, why i dont just shatter into dust right there, why my heart keeps beating when i want it so badly to stop
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I cry for everything I abandoned and because I, too, have been left behind -- by Alex, by my mom, by time that has cut through our worlds and separated us.
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I have had to give up so much, so many selves and lives already. I have grown up and out of the rubble of my old lives, of things and people I have cared for.
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Sometimes I feel like she deserves a best friend who is just a little more special.
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It's so strange how life works: You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it's taking forever to come. Then it happens and it's over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.
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That's what time does: We stand stubbornly like rocks while it flows all around us, believing that we are immutable - and all the time we're being carved, and shaped, and whittled away.
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Love: It will kill you and save you, both
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He's stuck with me and I'm stuck with him. We're stuck. That's what growing up is all about, I guess.
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