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Because if it weren’t for me, Lena and Alex would never have been caught at all. I told on them. I was jealous.

Lauren Oliver

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Lauren Oliver
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: November 8
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Westchester County
New York
Alex
Jealous
Weren
Caught
Told
Never
Would
Lena

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Not gray, exactly. Right before the sun rises there's a moment when the whole sky goes this pale nothing color-not really gray but sort of, or sort of white, and I've always really liked it because it reminds me of waiting for something good to happen.
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No one can tell us no. No one can make us stop. We have picked each other and the rest of the world can go to hell.
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We wanted the freedom to love. We wanted the freedom to choose. Now we have to fight for it.
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I get that rush that comes when you know you're doing something wrong and are getting away with it, like stealing from the school cafeteria of getting tipsy at a family holiday without anyone knowing it.
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Like I've been sketched by an amateur artist: if you don't look too closely, it's all right, but start focusing and all the smudges and mistakes become really obvious.
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Of course. That's what people do in a disordered world, a world of freedom and choice: they leave when they want. They disappear, they come back, they leave again. And you are left to pick up the pieces on your own.
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I guess there are some things you never get used to.
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His secret name, which belongs to me, and to him, and to no one else.
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Why couldn't you let me have it? Why did you have to take it? Why did you always take everything?
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I think of Grace and feel a sharp pain in my chest.
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That's the thing about faith. It works.
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I start to follow her, and Alex grabs my hand. I'll find you, he says, watching me with the eyes I remember. I won't let you go again. I don't trust myself to speak. Instead I nod, hoping that he understands me. He squeezes my hand. Go, he says.
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That's what Zombieland is: frozen, calm, quiet.
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The sparrows jumped before they knew how to fly, and they learned to fly only because they had jumped.
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I cry for everything I abandoned and because I, too, have been left behind -- by Alex, by my mom, by time that has cut through our worlds and separated us.
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There are no happy endings, only breaks in the regular action.
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Love, the deadliest of all things: It kills you both when you have it and when you don't. But that isn't it, exactly. The condemner and the condemned. The executioner the blade the last-minute reprieve the gasping breath and the rolling sky above you and the thank you, thank you, thank you God. Love: It will kill you and save you, both.
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i feel like a curtain has dropped away and i'm seeing people for who they really are, different, and sharp, and unknowable.
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It's funny how you can know your friends so well, but you still end up playing the same games with them.
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I'm so tired after dinner I fall asleep with my clothes on, almost as soon as my head hits the pillow, and so I forget to ask God, in my prayers, to keep me from waking up.
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