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Because if it weren’t for me, Lena and Alex would never have been caught at all. I told on them. I was jealous.

Lauren Oliver

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Lauren Oliver
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: November 8
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Westchester County
New York
Never
Would
Lena
Alex
Jealous
Weren
Caught
Told

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i suppose that's the secret, if you're ever wishing for things to back the way they were. You just have to look up.
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But maybe happiness isn't in the choosing. Maybe it's in the fiction, in the pretending: that wherever we have ended up is where we intended to be all along.
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You see, we didn't know.
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Someday she will be saved, and the past and all its pain will be rendered as smoothly palatable as the food we spoon to our babies.
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Lindsay calls them the Pugs: pretty from far away, ugly up close.
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You came form different starts and you'll come to different ends.
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I'm used to a feeling of doubleness, of thinking one thing and having to do another, a constant tug-of-war.
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I start to follow her, and Alex grabs my hand. I'll find you, he says, watching me with the eyes I remember. I won't let you go again. I don't trust myself to speak. Instead I nod, hoping that he understands me. He squeezes my hand. Go, he says.
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What glitters may not be gold and even wolves may smile and fools will be led by promises to their deaths.
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That is the rule of the Wilds: You must be bigger and stronger and tougher. You must hurt or be hurt.
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When we get out of highschool we'll look back and know we did everything right, that we kissed the cutest boys and went to the best parties, got in just enough trouble, listened to our music too loud, smoked too many cigarettes, and drank too much and laughed too much and listened too little, or not al all.
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only when it rains. and sometimes, too, when i remember.
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Poetry isn't like any writing I've ever heard before. I don't understand all of it, just bits of images, sentences that appear half-finished, all fluttering together like brightly colored ribbons in the wind.
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But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.
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It will kill me, it will kill me, it will kill me. And I don't care.
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Take it from me: If you hear the past speaking to you, feel it tugging up your back and runing its fingers up your spine, the best thing to do-the only thing-is run.
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I can admit, now, that I must have loved Lena. Not in an Unnatural way, but my feelings for her must have been a kind of sickness. How can someone have the power to shatter you to dust--and also to make you feel so whole?
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I start to back away before I do something wildly inappropriate, like jump on top of him.
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The sparrows jumped before they knew how to fly, and they learned to fly only because they had jumped.
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That's the thing: We didn't really care. A world without love is also a world without stakes.
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