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I'm used to a feeling of doubleness, of thinking one thing and having to do another, a constant tug-of-war.

Lauren Oliver

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Lauren Oliver
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: November 8
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Westchester County
New York
War
Feelings
Another
Used
Thing
Thinking
Constant
Feeling

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Mice? Fine. Flying mice? Not so fine.
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My parents were pretty liberal, but they were still parents. I definitely had my teenage rebellion.
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I didn't realize then what a privilege that was: to be bored with your best friend to have time to waste.
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Sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep because of what I'm leaving behind.
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Stupid how the mind will try to distract itself.
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Less than a month ago all of August still stretched before us - long and golden and reassuring, like an endless period of delicious sleep.
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It's like there's a filter set up in my brain, except instead of making things better, it twists everything around so what comes out of my mouth is totally wrong, totally different from what I was thinking.
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I love you. They can't take it away.
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No wonder the regulators decided on segregation of boys and girls: Otherwise, it would have been a nightmare, this feeling angry and self-conscious and confused and annoyed all the time.
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I can admit, now, that I must have loved Lena. Not in an Unnatural way, but my feelings for her must have been a kind of sickness. How can someone have the power to shatter you to dust--and also to make you feel so whole?
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Some things are better left buried and forgotten.
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Sometimes I feel like she deserves a best friend who is just a little more special.
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The first time I saw you, at the Governor, I handn't been to watch the birds at the border in years. But that's what you reminded me of. You were jumping up, and you were yelling something, and your hair was coming loose from your ponytail, and you were so fast... He shakes his head. Just a flash, and then you were gone, Exactly like a bird.
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The thing is, you don't get to know. It's not like you wake up with a bad feeling in your stomach. You don't see shadows where there shouldn't be any. You don't remember to tell your parents you love them or--in my case--remember to say good-bye to them at all.
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I start to back away before I do something wildly inappropriate, like jump on top of him.
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It's so strange how life works: You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it's taking forever to come. Then it happens and it's over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.
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I think of Grace and feel a sharp pain in my chest.
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No guest rooms.” I shake my head resolutely. “I want to be in a room room. A lived-in room.
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Things would get difficult again. But that was okay too. The bravery was in moving forward, no matter what.
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It was unfair that people could pretend to be one thing when they were really something else. That they would get you on their side and then do nothing but fail, and fail, and fail again. People should come with warnings, like cigarette packs: involvement would kill you over time.
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