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Sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep because of what I'm leaving behind.

Lauren Oliver

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Lauren Oliver
Age: 42
Born: 1982
Born: November 8
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Westchester County
New York
Behinds
Behind
Sleep
Sometimes
Leaving
Afraid

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I know the past will drag you backward and down, have you snatching at whispers of wind and the gibberish of trees rubbing together, trying to decipher some code, trying to piece together what was broken. It's hopeless. The past is nothing but a weight. It will build inside you like a stone.
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Mice? Fine. Flying mice? Not so fine.
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But the guilt goes even deeper than that. It, too, is dust: Layers and layers of it have accumulated. Because if it weren’t for me, Lena and Alex would never have been caught at all. I told on them. I was jealous. God forgive me, for I have sinned.
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There is nothing else for people to do. They do not think. They feel no passion, no hatred, no sadness they feel nothing but fear, and a desire to control. So they watch, and poke, and pry.
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Alex loved books. He was the one who first introduced me to poetry. That's another reason I can't read anymore.
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Everything in me feels fluttering and free, like I could take off from the ground at any second. Music, I think, he makes me feel like music.
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This is what happens when you try to help people. You get screwed.
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But from the beginning, I knew that in a world where destiny was dead, I was destined, forever, to love him. Even though he didn't - though he couldn't - ever love me back.
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I don't know how i stay on my feet, why i dont just shatter into dust right there, why my heart keeps beating when i want it so badly to stop
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Rainstorms are incredible: falling shards of glass, the air full of diamonds.
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Love: a single word, a wispy thing, a word no bigger or longer than an edge.
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An eye for an eye. And the whole world goes blind, Coral puts in quietly.
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There are no happy endings, only breaks in the regular action.
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I'm starved for different light, a different sun,different sky.
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If singing were a feeling it would be this, this light, this lifting, like laughing.
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My first kiss. A new kind of kiss, like the new kind of music still playing, softly, in the distance - wild and arrhythmic, desperate. Passionate.
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It's surprisingly nice out here, peaceful and pretty-strange to be standing in the middle of a little garden while enclosed by the massive stone walls of the prison, like being at the exact center of a hurricane, and finding peace and silence in the middle of so much shrieking damage.
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I still wanted to know why. As though somebody was going to answer that for me, as though any answer would be satisfying.
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We wanted the freedom to love. We wanted the freedom to choose. Now we have to fight for it.
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Once Mo had closed the gates, he returned to his little stone hut, and his half-eaten sandwich of butter and canned sardines, and his mug of thick hot chocolate, which every night he poured carefully into a thermos labeled COFFEE.
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