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Maybe what frightens us about the edge isn't our fear of morality, but the thoughts it leads us to have.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Edges
Leads
Morality
Thoughts
Maybe
Fear
Frightens
Edge

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Life is much different from the days when there were lilies in my mother’s garden, and all my secrets fit into a paper cup.
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When I was 11 or 12, I was really bored with everything on my summer reading list. It was all happy, middle-grade kinds of books. I was getting frustrated, because I liked to read. My mother went to the library and got me a copy of 'The Other Side of Midnight' by Sidney Sheldon. It was my first adult book.
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Once upon a time there were two parents, two children, and a brick house with lilies in the yard. The parents died, the lilies wilted. One child disappeared. Then the other. Pg 225
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I can hear my brother's voice in my head. Your problem is that you're too emotional. But how can I not be emotional, Rowan? How can I not care?
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It's best to let her go, he says. No, no, that's wrong. It's never right to give up on someone.
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Don't you miss it? I say. Being free. He laughs.
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She would do anything, anything to belong to his son after a lifetime of belonging to no one at all.
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There is a silence so great that I can hear the ice crystals cracking and falling from eyelashes of girls who will never blink again.
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I wish I had a memory of that first violent shove, the shock of cold air, the sting of oxygen into new lungs. Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.
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It's quiet for a while, and then Rowan says We could talk now. We're alone out here. No walls. There are always walls. I say.
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For males twenty-five is the fatal age. For women it's twenty. We are all dropping like flies.
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It is the face of a girl who has seen the world, who realizes that it hates her, and who hates it in return.
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I'll tell you something about true love. There's no science to it. It's as natural as the sky.
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A party in the orange grove. The pain on Linden's face is immediate. I am unwavering. He has cost me more pain than I will ever be able to repay.
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The thing about hope is that it doesn't go away even when it serves no purpose.
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Set fire to the broken pieces start anew.
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A strange thing, words. Once they're said, it's hard to imagine they're untrue.
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We are stronger than we've credited ourselves to be. We have been the victims and the witnesses. We have said a lifetime of good-byes.
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...maybe hope isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's what keeps us together.
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I lost everyone I loved, I tell him. I wait for him to look at me, and then I add, The day I met you.
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