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To die trying would be better than to die without purpose.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Would
Dies
Purpose
Better
Without
Trying

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Life is much different from the days when there were lilies in my mother’s garden, and all my secrets fit into a paper cup.
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A party in the orange grove. The pain on Linden's face is immediate. I am unwavering. He has cost me more pain than I will ever be able to repay.
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Don't you miss it? I say. Being free. He laughs.
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It's never right to give up on someone.
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When I am writing anything in general, I just want to tell the story that exists in my head I don't try to write a parable or make a point.
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None of the wives mention the security guards by the door, who will probably tackle us to the ground if we try to leave without our husbands.
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I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.
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Set fire to the broken pieces start anew.
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Things will get worse before they get better.
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Even things that aren't broken can be fixed.
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Cure is one of the most precious words in the English language. It's a short word. A clean and simple word. But it isn't so easy a thing as it sounds. There are questions like: How will this affect us in ten years? In twenty? What will it do to our children? Our children's children?
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A strange thing, words. Once they're said, it's hard to imagine they're untrue.
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We are stronger than we've credited ourselves to be. We have been the victims and the witnesses. We have said a lifetime of good-byes.
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It's quiet for a while, and then Rowan says We could talk now. We're alone out here. No walls. There are always walls. I say.
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...maybe hope isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's what keeps us together.
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We writers are resilient souls.
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I figured it out eventually, she says. She's sitting on the edge of the gurney again her features slowly materialize as my vision clears. It's momentum. What? I whisper. The feeling returning to my lips, spreading out to my fingertips and toes. Momentum, she repeats. You can't just stand there if you want something to fly. You have
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I watch the ashes swim around like dandelion puffs, making swirls where bodies and walls once stood.
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Good night, sweetheart, he says. Good bye, sweetheart, I say. And it's so casual, so innocent that he doesn't suspect a thing.
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I miss something I never even had.
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