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I think humans have always been desperate. I think it has always been about doing something awful if it might help, when the only other option is death. Maybe that's what being a parent is supposed to feel like.
Lauren DeStefano
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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Feel
Supposed
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Parent
Something
Maybe
Always
Help
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Death
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Desperate
Humans
Awful
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Don't you miss it? I say. Being free. He laughs.
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I wish I had a memory of that first violent shove, the shock of cold air, the sting of oxygen into new lungs. Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.
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It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again.
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Bet you never eat, he says. Bet you drink up the oxygen like it's butter. Bet you can go for days on nothing but thoughts.
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I want to make a world more magical than my own. I don't care if it makes sense, I don't care if it's ridiculed or if, rather than a neat round planet that goes around forever, it ends with a cliff that falls off into nothing. I want to have my eyes wide open, and I want to see this room and at the same time, not this room.
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I should not have loved my daughter as I did. Not in this world in which nothing lives for long. You children are flies. You are roses. You multiply and die.
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To die trying would be better than to die without purpose.
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The seeds are tiny, unborn things, and I resent them. They'll be planted and they'll grow into exactly what they're meant to be.
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There's a world out there that nobody has bothered to promise her.
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It's the silence I imagine in the rest of the world, the silence of an endless ocean and uninhabitable island, a silence that can be seen from space.
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The thing about hope is that it doesn't go away even when it serves no purpose.
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I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.
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There’s a limit to how much living can be done in a life without freedom.
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Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.
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Even things that aren't broken can be fixed.
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Dystopian, by definition, promises a darker story.
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Maybe hope isn't the most dangerous thing a person can have. Maybe love is.
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Someday I'll tell you all of it, I say. I'd like that, he says. No, I say. I promise you won't.
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There is a dark place calling to me, but I will not go just yet. I know I can't return from it.
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And everywhere girls, tumbling from trees like orange blossoms and hitting the earth with sickening thuds. They crack open.
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