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I never wanted to live forever, she says. I just wanted enough time.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Life
Says
Forever
Wanted
Live
Enough
Never
Time

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Someday I'll tell you all of it, I say. I'd like that, he says. No, I say. I promise you won't.
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I figured it out eventually, she says. She's sitting on the edge of the gurney again her features slowly materialize as my vision clears. It's momentum. What? I whisper. The feeling returning to my lips, spreading out to my fingertips and toes. Momentum, she repeats. You can't just stand there if you want something to fly. You have
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I watch the ashes swim around like dandelion puffs, making swirls where bodies and walls once stood.
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I'll tell you something about true love. There's no science to it. It's as natural as the sky.
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What have you done? What have you given up?' So many things, Cecily. More than you know.
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I used to have only one name it used to mean something.
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Humans are the absolute worst thing to happen to this planet.
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It's the silence I imagine in the rest of the world, the silence of an endless ocean and uninhabitable island, a silence that can be seen from space.
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Things will get worse before they get better.
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Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.
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The thing about hope is that it doesn't go away even when it serves no purpose.
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I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.
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I can hear my brother's voice in my head. Your problem is that you're too emotional. But how can I not be emotional, Rowan? How can I not care?
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There is warmth shooting through my broken body where there should be pain, and I put my arms around the back of his neck and I hold on to him. I hold on because you never know in this place when something good will be taken away.
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Good night, sweetheart, he says. Good bye, sweetheart, I say. And it's so casual, so innocent that he doesn't suspect a thing.
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I always knew I was an excellent liar I just didn't know that I had it in me to fool myself.
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I wish I had a memory of that first violent shove, the shock of cold air, the sting of oxygen into new lungs. Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.
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who once had dreams of saving the world, now laughs at anyone who tries.
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To die trying would be better than to die without purpose.
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There is a dark place calling to me, but I will not go just yet. I know I can't return from it.
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