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There is a silence so great that I can hear the ice crystals cracking and falling from eyelashes of girls who will never blink again.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Girls
Silence
Hear
Cracking
Girl
Eyelashes
Fall
Blink
Great
Crystals
Never
Ice
Falling

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We'll squeeze every second that we can from our lives, because we're young, and we have plenty of years to grow. We'll grow until we're braver. We'll grow until our bones ache and our skin wrinkles and our hair goes white, and until our hearts decide, at last, that it's time to stop.
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Give me time For you, always.
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To die trying would be better than to die without purpose.
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There is a dark place calling to me, but I will not go just yet. I know I can't return from it.
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The thing about hope is that it doesn't go away even when it serves no purpose.
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There is warmth shooting through my broken body where there should be pain, and I put my arms around the back of his neck and I hold on to him. I hold on because you never know in this place when something good will be taken away.
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So many of the things I've wanted are the things I've been taught to fear.
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Once upon a time there were two parents, two children, and a brick house with lilies in the yard. The parents died, the lilies wilted. One child disappeared. Then the other. Pg 225
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Eventually I realize that I am holding on to him just as tightly as he holds on to me. And here we are: two small dying things, as the world ends around us like falling autumn leaves.
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Gabriel's voice can reach me anywhere. Even in a hurricane.
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Someday I'll tell you all of it, I say. I'd like that, he says. No, I say. I promise you won't.
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Don't you miss it? I say. Being free. He laughs.
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She smiles at our husband as she moves, and he blushes, overcome by her beauty. But I know what her smile really means...Her smile is her revenge.
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I want to make a world more magical than my own. I don't care if it makes sense, I don't care if it's ridiculed or if, rather than a neat round planet that goes around forever, it ends with a cliff that falls off into nothing. I want to have my eyes wide open, and I want to see this room and at the same time, not this room.
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I figured it out eventually, she says. She's sitting on the edge of the gurney again her features slowly materialize as my vision clears. It's momentum. What? I whisper. The feeling returning to my lips, spreading out to my fingertips and toes. Momentum, she repeats. You can't just stand there if you want something to fly. You have
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Maybe hope isn't the most dangerous thing a person can have. Maybe love is.
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...maybe hope isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's what keeps us together.
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Hope, that risky, illustrious thing. It should have gone extinct by now, but we keep it alive.
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I don't dare touch her. Loss is a knowledge I'm sorry to have. Perhaps the only thing worse than experiencing it, is watching it replay anew in someone else--all the awful stages picking up like a chorus that has to be sung.
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