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I watch the ashes swim around like dandelion puffs, making swirls where bodies and walls once stood.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Around
Walls
Body
Stood
Like
Swim
Puffs
Bodies
Dandelion
Watches
Dandelions
Watch
Swirls
Wall
Puff
Making
Ashes

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It doesn't matter how much his mother loves him love is not enough to keep any of us alive.
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You've been captive for so long that you don't even realize you want freedom anymore.
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She would do anything, anything to belong to his son after a lifetime of belonging to no one at all.
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My sisters were in that van.
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For males twenty-five is the fatal age. For women it's twenty. We are all dropping like flies.
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Don't you miss it? I say. Being free. He laughs.
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I see an ocean that’s spilled out of a wineglass, its body clear and sparkling and folding over itself. I see a ribbon of sand.
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Tell freedom I said hello.
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So many of the things I've wanted are the things I've been taught to fear.
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A party in the orange grove. The pain on Linden's face is immediate. I am unwavering. He has cost me more pain than I will ever be able to repay.
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When I was 11 or 12, I was really bored with everything on my summer reading list. It was all happy, middle-grade kinds of books. I was getting frustrated, because I liked to read. My mother went to the library and got me a copy of 'The Other Side of Midnight' by Sidney Sheldon. It was my first adult book.
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It was my fifth grade teacher who introduced the idea that writing could be more than a hobby for me.
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We writers are resilient souls.
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There is a silence so great that I can hear the ice crystals cracking and falling from eyelashes of girls who will never blink again.
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Bet you never eat, he says. Bet you drink up the oxygen like it's butter. Bet you can go for days on nothing but thoughts.
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and I've always known it, the way I love a song I hear for the first time, even before I know all the words, the way I love my favorite color, and the way that the train would speed past my bedroom when it was very quiet and I'd feel it in my stomach rushing through me. I love you in a way that I've never felt needed to be said.
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Maybe hope isn't the most dangerous thing a person can have. Maybe love is.
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I wish I had a memory of that first violent shove, the shock of cold air, the sting of oxygen into new lungs. Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.
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I think humans have always been desperate. I think it has always been about doing something awful if it might help, when the only other option is death. Maybe that's what being a parent is supposed to feel like.
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