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I don't dare touch her. Loss is a knowledge I'm sorry to have. Perhaps the only thing worse than experiencing it, is watching it replay anew in someone else--all the awful stages picking up like a chorus that has to be sung.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Like
Worse
Stages
Loss
Picking
Perhaps
Experiencing
Stage
Awful
Knowledge
Dare
Replay
Else
Sorry
Sung
Someone
Touch
Anew
Thing
Watching
Chorus

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Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.
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...maybe hope isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's what keeps us together.
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I think, in this strange world of beautiful things, there may be some humanity after all.
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None of the wives mention the security guards by the door, who will probably tackle us to the ground if we try to leave without our husbands.
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Hope, that risky, illustrious thing. It should have gone extinct by now, but we keep it alive.
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I lost everyone I loved, I tell him. I wait for him to look at me, and then I add, The day I met you.
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I want to make the world into something better so that he can be okay.
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Real’ is a dirty word in this place.
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Good night, sweetheart, he says. Good bye, sweetheart, I say. And it's so casual, so innocent that he doesn't suspect a thing.
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I can hear my brother's voice in my head. Your problem is that you're too emotional. But how can I not be emotional, Rowan? How can I not care?
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It is the face of a girl who has seen the world, who realizes that it hates her, and who hates it in return.
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There was a desperate undercurrent to our marriage--a feeling of being in a dream from which I couldn't seem to awaken. A nagging sense that my life, laid out so neatly like the clothes Deirdre left on my divan, was no longer my own.
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Linden just wants to protect her, is what I want to say. She's all he has. I left him. I'm at arms reach, but I've left him.
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I see an ocean that’s spilled out of a wineglass, its body clear and sparkling and folding over itself. I see a ribbon of sand.
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It doesn't matter how much his mother loves him love is not enough to keep any of us alive.
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It's quiet for a while, and then Rowan says We could talk now. We're alone out here. No walls. There are always walls. I say.
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