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It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again.

Lauren DeStefano

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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 40
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Confess
Terrible
Decision
Make

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who once had dreams of saving the world, now laughs at anyone who tries.
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Bet you never eat, he says. Bet you drink up the oxygen like it's butter. Bet you can go for days on nothing but thoughts.
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Maybe what frightens us about the edge isn't our fear of morality, but the thoughts it leads us to have.
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I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.
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I can hear my brother's voice in my head. Your problem is that you're too emotional. But how can I not be emotional, Rowan? How can I not care?
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I stare at her collarbone that's framed with lace, the hollow of her throat, her shoulders that rise with each rise with the weight of her next breath. We're fragile things. Our bones show through our skin. What would any god want with us?
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None of the wives mention the security guards by the door, who will probably tackle us to the ground if we try to leave without our husbands.
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And everywhere girls, tumbling from trees like orange blossoms and hitting the earth with sickening thuds. They crack open.
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Times like this, when she slips her hand into mine and holds on tight, and our husband becomes just a shadow in the doorway.
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I always knew I was an excellent liar I just didn't know that I had it in me to fool myself.
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There is a dark place calling to me, but I will not go just yet. I know I can't return from it.
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You've been captive for so long that you don't even realize you want freedom anymore.
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You can't be afraid. You can be sad if you like. You can be angry. But it's the fear that'll freeze you in place.
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Linden just wants to protect her, is what I want to say. She's all he has. I left him. I'm at arms reach, but I've left him.
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Even things that aren't broken can be fixed.
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Dystopian, by definition, promises a darker story.
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There was a desperate undercurrent to our marriage--a feeling of being in a dream from which I couldn't seem to awaken. A nagging sense that my life, laid out so neatly like the clothes Deirdre left on my divan, was no longer my own.
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