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You’re insane, you know that?” he says. “It’s the only thing keeping me afloat,” I say.
Lauren DeStefano
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Lauren DeStefano
Age: 39
Born: 1984
Born: October 13
Author
Novelist
Connecticut
United States
Thing
Afloat
Keeping
Insane
Says
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What have you done? What have you given up?' So many things, Cecily. More than you know.
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I don't dare touch her. Loss is a knowledge I'm sorry to have. Perhaps the only thing worse than experiencing it, is watching it replay anew in someone else--all the awful stages picking up like a chorus that has to be sung.
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I'm suddenly finding it hard to know the difference between nightmares and consciousness.
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I think humans have always been desperate. I think it has always been about doing something awful if it might help, when the only other option is death. Maybe that's what being a parent is supposed to feel like.
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Don't you miss it? I say. Being free. He laughs.
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Someday I'll tell you all of it, I say. I'd like that, he says. No, I say. I promise you won't.
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It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again.
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There's a sort of dead passion in him. A spark that, had he more years to live, would be a wildfire.
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Maybe what frightens us about the edge isn't our fear of morality, but the thoughts it leads us to have.
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When I am writing anything in general, I just want to tell the story that exists in my head I don't try to write a parable or make a point.
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It was my fifth grade teacher who introduced the idea that writing could be more than a hobby for me.
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A strange thing, words. Once they're said, it's hard to imagine they're untrue.
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A party in the orange grove. The pain on Linden's face is immediate. I am unwavering. He has cost me more pain than I will ever be able to repay.
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I watch the ashes swim around like dandelion puffs, making swirls where bodies and walls once stood.
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My sisters were in that van.
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Childhood is a long, long road, from which that dark whispering forest of death seems an impossible destination.
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The seeds are tiny, unborn things, and I resent them. They'll be planted and they'll grow into exactly what they're meant to be.
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The only characters I ever don't like are ones that leave no impression on me. And I don't write characters that leave no impression on me.
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I'll tell you something about true love. There's no science to it. It's as natural as the sky.
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