I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

My grandmother, she passed away at Christmas time. So now, I have this built in sadness, you know, every holiday. 'Cause I'm plagued with the thought of, you know, what she would have given me. What didn't I get to open this year?

We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'

Women can really be who they are. I'm about to say the F word, feminist. Often that word has such a negative connotation.

I slept with my mother until I was nine years old. It was OK for the first few years, and then I don't know what happened. I just couldn't do it anymore. I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!

I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex because, number one, what if I know the guy?

I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night. Boring!

I have to find work wherever it might be hiding.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.

[On living in New York City:] I'm oblivious to everything. I just don't notice anything. I sat in a coffee shop, drank half a cup of coffee before I noticed there was lipstick on the cup. There was wadded-up gum and lipstick on the napkin. I must have been sitting on that woman's lap for an hour.