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For the sake of argument I'll ignore all your fighting words.

Larry Wall

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Larry Wall
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: September 27
Computer Scientist
Engineer
Linguist
Programmer
Writer
LA
California
TimToady
Larry Arnold Wall
Ignore
Argument
Sake
Fighting
Words

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For me, writing is a love-hate relationship.
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Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi.
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You can’t change the past. You can’t even change the future, in the sense that you can only change the present one moment at a time, stubbornly, until the future unwinds itself into the stories of our lives.
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I want to see people using Perl to glue things together creatively, not just technically but also socially.
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A 'goto' in Perl falls into the category of hard things that should be possible, not easy things that should be easy.
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If any ideology is so serious that you can't have fun while you're doing it, it's probably too serious.
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I think operating systems work best if they're free and open. Particular applications are more likely to be proprietary.
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Well, hey, let's just make everything into a closure, and then we'll have our general garbage collector, installed by 'use less memory'.
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In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
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Perl is worse than Python because people wanted it worse.
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When I announced the development of Perl 6, I said it was going to be a community design. I designed Perl, myself. It's limited by my own brain power. So I wanted Perl 6 to be a community design.
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It's easier to make up sayings people like to hear than sayings they like to heed.
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I don't like this official/unofficial distinction. It sound, er, officious.
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Now, I'm not the only language designer with irrationalities. You can think of some languages to go with some of these things.
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I'd make people say 'use Fork' if I thought I could get away with it.
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Don't wear rollerskates to a tug-of-war.
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We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise.
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What about writing it first and rationalizing it afterwards?
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Information doesn't want to be free. Information wants to be valuable.
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Portability should be the default.
Larry Wall