Quote

I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night.

Larry the Cable Guy

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Larry the Cable Guy
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: February 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Pawnee City
Nebraska
Daniel Lawrence Whitney
Live
Tour
Wells
Pretty
Well
Year
Much
Times
Years
Night
Shows
Two
Around
Bus

More quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

Image
I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I THINK ITS COOL THAT OTHER CROWDS LIKE WHAT I DO. HOWEVER IVE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD MIX OF PEOPLE AT MY SHOWS. I STARTED DOING THINGS ON RADIO ON ROCK MARKETS AND ALTERNATIVE MARKETS. IVE ALWAYS BEEN A COUNTRY TYPE ACT HOWEVER I STARTED WITH THE ROCK MARKET. IM VERY INTERCHANGEABLE.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em they're awesome. They're good people.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I can have different opinions with anybody. I can still be a friend with that person.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
When I look at my audience, I can tell better who's in the crowd and the kind of joke I shouldn't do. It's just complicated. I guess I sift through to make sure these jokes are a little different with not such a harsh edge to them. That's pretty much how I handle the crowd.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, Do not eat. Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
THE FACT THAT MY DAD IS A PREACHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T AGREE WITH SOME OF MY MATERIAL BUT THEN AGAIN THERE'S NO SIGN ON MY COMEDY EVENT THAT SAYS REVIVAL HERE TONIGHT. IM SURE GOD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN GO TO MY 8 OCLOCK OMAHA SHOW. THE SHOW IS THE SHOW AND CHURCH IS CHURCH.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I enjoy hunting, but if I had my choice to go deer hunting or bass fishing, I'd take bass fishing any day of the week. I enjoy both of them, but yeah, I'm a very outdoorsy guy.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
My dad was a non-denominational preacher, actually a Congregationalist which is really where all congregations come to congregate. That's why it's called a Congregationalist. Later on in life, he just became a non-denominational preacher, kind of a fire and brimstone type guy. That's how I grew up.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I GREW UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FRIEND OR 2 THAT TALKED WITH THE SOOUTHERN ACCENT.
Larry the Cable Guy
Image
I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game anywhere. Before I started doing big arenas and stuff and had a tour bus when I was just working comedy clubs way back when I would always listen to the games in my hotel room on the Internet.
Larry the Cable Guy