Quote

THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

Larry the Cable Guy

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Larry the Cable Guy
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: February 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Pawnee City
Nebraska
Daniel Lawrence Whitney
Shows
Kissing
Else
Matters
Political
Fans
Come
Everybody
Uptight
Matter
Show
Thats
Thing
Easy
Dont
Good
Away
Ass
Like
Keep
Kiss

More quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

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I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!
Larry the Cable Guy
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I enjoy hunting, but if I had my choice to go deer hunting or bass fishing, I'd take bass fishing any day of the week. I enjoy both of them, but yeah, I'm a very outdoorsy guy.
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What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em they're awesome. They're good people.
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Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people
Larry the Cable Guy
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I can have different opinions with anybody. I can still be a friend with that person.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I grew up on a pig farm in southeast Nebraska. When I started doing the Blue Collar Tour, I thought it was kind of funny because I faked my accent, so everybody thought I lived in an apartment somewhere. But I grew up on a pig farm.
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Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game anywhere. Before I started doing big arenas and stuff and had a tour bus when I was just working comedy clubs way back when I would always listen to the games in my hotel room on the Internet.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.
Larry the Cable Guy
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THE FACT THAT MY DAD IS A PREACHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T AGREE WITH SOME OF MY MATERIAL BUT THEN AGAIN THERE'S NO SIGN ON MY COMEDY EVENT THAT SAYS REVIVAL HERE TONIGHT. IM SURE GOD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN GO TO MY 8 OCLOCK OMAHA SHOW. THE SHOW IS THE SHOW AND CHURCH IS CHURCH.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you have a big fan base, and I have a great fan base.
Larry the Cable Guy
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He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I am called to love my neighbor, which I do. I can disagree with my neighbor about several things, but I'm not going to hate my neighbor. It's not up to me to hate anybody. It's not up to me to judge anyone. It's up to me to be nice, to be kind and to do everything I can to help somebody.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.
Larry the Cable Guy
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You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?
Larry the Cable Guy
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I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO BECOME YOUR HOME AS WELL AND YOU ADJUST TO THE SURROUNDINGS. I LOVE THEM BOTH. I MISS THE CLUBS BUT THATS WHAT YA WORK FOR TO DO THE BIG ROOMS!
Larry the Cable Guy
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I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT CRITICS, LIKE I SAID THEY DONT BUY TICKETS.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I'm more of a rodeo type guy.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I've always thought if you don't like what somebody says, don't hang out with that person. Why do you have to complain about it? Here's the thing. I don't hang out with, and I'm not friends with anybody that would offend me or I think offends me or lives a different way than I do.
Larry the Cable Guy