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Remember, half the people you know are below average.

Larry the Cable Guy

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Larry the Cable Guy
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: February 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Pawnee City
Nebraska
Daniel Lawrence Whitney
People
Average
Half
Remember

More quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

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What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em they're awesome. They're good people.
Larry the Cable Guy
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As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I'm married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO BECOME YOUR HOME AS WELL AND YOU ADJUST TO THE SURROUNDINGS. I LOVE THEM BOTH. I MISS THE CLUBS BUT THATS WHAT YA WORK FOR TO DO THE BIG ROOMS!
Larry the Cable Guy
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I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I've always thought if you don't like what somebody says, don't hang out with that person. Why do you have to complain about it? Here's the thing. I don't hang out with, and I'm not friends with anybody that would offend me or I think offends me or lives a different way than I do.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.
Larry the Cable Guy
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When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.
Larry the Cable Guy
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You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?
Larry the Cable Guy
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I'm defending free speech pretty much all over the place because you still have freedom of speech.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over stuff people say.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I GREW UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FRIEND OR 2 THAT TALKED WITH THE SOOUTHERN ACCENT.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!
Larry the Cable Guy
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Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, Do not eat. Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is.
Larry the Cable Guy
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Its nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take themselves way too seriously sometimes.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT CRITICS, LIKE I SAID THEY DONT BUY TICKETS.
Larry the Cable Guy
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THE FACT THAT MY DAD IS A PREACHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T AGREE WITH SOME OF MY MATERIAL BUT THEN AGAIN THERE'S NO SIGN ON MY COMEDY EVENT THAT SAYS REVIVAL HERE TONIGHT. IM SURE GOD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN GO TO MY 8 OCLOCK OMAHA SHOW. THE SHOW IS THE SHOW AND CHURCH IS CHURCH.
Larry the Cable Guy
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When I look at my audience, I can tell better who's in the crowd and the kind of joke I shouldn't do. It's just complicated. I guess I sift through to make sure these jokes are a little different with not such a harsh edge to them. That's pretty much how I handle the crowd.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you have a big fan base, and I have a great fan base.
Larry the Cable Guy