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I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!
Larry the Cable Guy
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Larry the Cable Guy
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: February 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Pawnee City
Nebraska
Daniel Lawrence Whitney
Cause
Cousin
Causes
Quit
Call
Quitting
Much
Upset
Men
Third
Like
Thirds
Upsets
Mines
Slept
Mine
Buddy
More quotes by Larry the Cable Guy
As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I'm married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act.
Larry the Cable Guy
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.
Larry the Cable Guy
I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.
Larry the Cable Guy
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Larry the Cable Guy
I'm more of a rodeo type guy.
Larry the Cable Guy
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Larry the Cable Guy
I grew up on a pig farm in southeast Nebraska. When I started doing the Blue Collar Tour, I thought it was kind of funny because I faked my accent, so everybody thought I lived in an apartment somewhere. But I grew up on a pig farm.
Larry the Cable Guy
I THINK ITS COOL THAT OTHER CROWDS LIKE WHAT I DO. HOWEVER IVE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD MIX OF PEOPLE AT MY SHOWS. I STARTED DOING THINGS ON RADIO ON ROCK MARKETS AND ALTERNATIVE MARKETS. IVE ALWAYS BEEN A COUNTRY TYPE ACT HOWEVER I STARTED WITH THE ROCK MARKET. IM VERY INTERCHANGEABLE.
Larry the Cable Guy
I enjoy hunting, but if I had my choice to go deer hunting or bass fishing, I'd take bass fishing any day of the week. I enjoy both of them, but yeah, I'm a very outdoorsy guy.
Larry the Cable Guy
I'm defending free speech pretty much all over the place because you still have freedom of speech.
Larry the Cable Guy
I pretty much live on my tour bus.I do well around 300 shows a year. A lot of times I will do two shows a night.
Larry the Cable Guy
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.
Larry the Cable Guy
My dad was a non-denominational preacher, actually a Congregationalist which is really where all congregations come to congregate. That's why it's called a Congregationalist. Later on in life, he just became a non-denominational preacher, kind of a fire and brimstone type guy. That's how I grew up.
Larry the Cable Guy
I GREW UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FRIEND OR 2 THAT TALKED WITH THE SOOUTHERN ACCENT.
Larry the Cable Guy
Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people
Larry the Cable Guy
I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.
Larry the Cable Guy
I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game anywhere. Before I started doing big arenas and stuff and had a tour bus when I was just working comedy clubs way back when I would always listen to the games in my hotel room on the Internet.
Larry the Cable Guy
I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.
Larry the Cable Guy
I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.
Larry the Cable Guy
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?
Larry the Cable Guy
