Quote

I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

Larry the Cable Guy

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Larry the Cable Guy
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: February 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Pawnee City
Nebraska
Daniel Lawrence Whitney
Cause
Cousin
Causes
Quit
Call
Quitting
Much
Upset
Men
Third
Like
Thirds
Upsets
Mines
Slept
Mine
Buddy

More quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

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THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I GREW UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FRIEND OR 2 THAT TALKED WITH THE SOOUTHERN ACCENT.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I'm so sick of gay this, gay that. I could care less. It ain't affecting my life at all.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I'm defending free speech pretty much all over the place because you still have freedom of speech.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over stuff people say.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I enjoy hunting, but if I had my choice to go deer hunting or bass fishing, I'd take bass fishing any day of the week. I enjoy both of them, but yeah, I'm a very outdoorsy guy.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I'm more of a rodeo type guy.
Larry the Cable Guy
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What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em they're awesome. They're good people.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I grew up on a pig farm in southeast Nebraska. When I started doing the Blue Collar Tour, I thought it was kind of funny because I faked my accent, so everybody thought I lived in an apartment somewhere. But I grew up on a pig farm.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.
Larry the Cable Guy
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Living in a small town you couldn't go anywhere on a Saturday where a store had the game on. If you were downtown you heard the game. If you were at the gas station you heard the game. I remember I would be mowing the lawn and I would stop for the Nebraska game. I would have it cranking outside.
Larry the Cable Guy
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He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Larry the Cable Guy
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You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?
Larry the Cable Guy
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As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I'm married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act.
Larry the Cable Guy
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Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people
Larry the Cable Guy
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Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I ALWAYS HAVE DONE WELL HOWEVER IN BLUE STATES AND RED STATES. IVE NEVER REALLY ALIGNED MYSELF WITH ALL THAT RED STATE BLUE STATE DR. SUESS CRAP BECAUSE WERE ALL AMERICANS AND WE ALL LIKE TO LAUGH.
Larry the Cable Guy
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I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT CRITICS, LIKE I SAID THEY DONT BUY TICKETS.
Larry the Cable Guy