Television is a weapon of mass distractrion.

We may be born equal but we're not equally talented.

I never watched Friends, maybe because it was written by people straight out of college....The only way to avoid age discrimination in Hollywood is to die young.

The only way to avoid age discrimination in Hollywood is to die young.

If Hitler’s still alive, I hope he’s out of town with a musical.

A war is like when it rains in New York and everybody crowds into doorways. They all get chummy together perfect strangers. The only difference, of course, is in a war it's also raining on the other side of the street and the people who are chummy over there are trying to kill the people who are over here who are chums.

You can write something that has continuity, but it makes happy endings all the more ridiculous.

I am on sort of a diet in terms of the Internet. It's the sheer quantity. It's the Niagara of opinion, of information. It's not that I have any kind of compassion fatigue. I just insist on having a life.

I refuse to do anything easy. I'm writing for the smartest person out there. I'm not equating myself with the smartest person out there, but hopefully I'm writing to say you're not alone. I'm not alone. We're not alone.

I think technology is such that we can reach new heights but we need some of the basics of the pre-technological age. It's counter-productive to be able to type a hundred words a minute but not know what the words mean.

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.

I don't think you can name a good picture where the production or the possible promotion isn't cast-contingent. That means the film needs not just star power but star box office power.

I'm a recovering optimist.

I write what I write and I honestly don't care if it gets on or not. I'm writing to see if I can find out some of what I think about any number of situations. I work it out in the writing.

Your style is formed by what you can't do.

The subtle differences in language and humor that get lost in translation, for example, make it almost impossible for big companies to do something that will appeal at home and abroad.