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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Functions
Rely
Function
Sex
Sometimes
Bodily
More quotes by Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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