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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Wells
Twenties
Well
Jokes
Much
Dollars
Retards
Thinking
Sitting
Retard
Couple
Bucks
Stage
Desk
Talking
Desks
Rather
Twenty

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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
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Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
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When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
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You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
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