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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Talking
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Rather
Twenty
Wells
Twenties
Well
Jokes
Much
Dollars
Retards
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Retard
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Stage
Desk
More quotes by Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Larry David
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Larry David
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Larry David
It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David
Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
Larry David
I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David
I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
Larry David
Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David
I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
Larry David
Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
Larry David
I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
Larry David
Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
Larry David
I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
Larry David
I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
Larry David
Let's not forget, I got divorced.
Larry David
