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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Rather
Twenty
Wells
Twenties
Well
Jokes
Much
Dollars
Retards
Thinking
Sitting
Retard
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Bucks
Stage
Desk
Talking
Desks

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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
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You write about what you know.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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Let's not forget, I got divorced.
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
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