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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Couple
Bucks
Stage
Desk
Talking
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Rather
Twenty
Wells
Twenties
Well
Jokes
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Dollars
Retards
Thinking
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Retard
More quotes by Larry David
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
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Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
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Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
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Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
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