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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
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Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
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Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
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I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
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Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
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Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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