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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Hello
Bars
Couldn
Walk
Walks
Woman

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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
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I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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I just feed off the energy of the audience.
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Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
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I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
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I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
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Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
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The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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