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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Jerk
Everybody
Else
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More quotes by Larry David

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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
Larry David
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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
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Golf and dating don't mix.
Larry David
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
Larry David
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
Larry David
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
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Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
Larry David
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Larry David
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David
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When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
Larry David
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
Larry David
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
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You write about what you know.
Larry David
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
Larry David
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David