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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Jerk
Everybody
Else
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More quotes by Larry David
Golf and dating don't mix.
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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You write about what you know.
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Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
Larry David
I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
Larry David
My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Larry David
I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David
Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
Larry David
