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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Didn
Would
Flirt
Flirting
Tried
Woman
Running
Away
More quotes by Larry David
I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
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I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
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