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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Flirt
Flirting
Tried
Woman
Running
Away
Didn
Would
More quotes by Larry David
A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
Larry David
I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
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Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
Larry David
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
