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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Closest
Degree
Degrees
Sex
Came
Death
Ever
Masturbating
Temperature
More quotes by Larry David
I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
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Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
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I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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