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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Ever
Masturbating
Temperature
Closest
Degree
Degrees
Sex
Came
Death
More quotes by Larry David
Let's not forget, I got divorced.
Larry David
Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
Larry David
When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
Larry David
I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
Larry David
I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.
Larry David
My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David
I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
Larry David
Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
Larry David
Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
Larry David
When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
Larry David
