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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Learned
Night
Order
Place
Firsts
First
Fish
Fishes

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Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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Let's not forget, I got divorced.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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I just feed off the energy of the audience.
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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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