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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Learned
Night
Order
Place
Firsts
First
Fish
Fishes

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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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