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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
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Feels
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More quotes by Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
Golf and dating don't mix.
Larry David
Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
Larry David
Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
Larry David
I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
Larry David
I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
Larry David
Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
Larry David
Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
Larry David
I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Larry David
There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
Larry David
Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
Larry David
It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David
I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
Larry David
