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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
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Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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