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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
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Feel
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Practical
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More quotes by Larry David
I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
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Zero, zero belief in myself. And it's changed somewhat, but there's still a lot of that in me.
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul.
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
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