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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Sunglasses
Wears
Blind
Inside
People
Assholes
More quotes by Larry David
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David
Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Larry David
Golf and dating don't mix.
Larry David
Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
Larry David
You write about what you know.
Larry David
Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Larry David
Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
Larry David
I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
Larry David
I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
Larry David
Women love a self-confident bald man.
Larry David
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
Larry David
I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.
Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David