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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Bleak
Started
Days

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Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
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A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Let's not forget, I got divorced.
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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
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Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.
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