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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Bleak
Started
Days
More quotes by Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
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Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
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Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.
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Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
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I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David
