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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Started
Days
Bleak
More quotes by Larry David
Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
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I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.
Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.
Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
Larry David
Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
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I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
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Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
Larry David
I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
Larry David
When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
Larry David
Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
Larry David
I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.
Larry David
