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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Stores
Anymore
Change
Really
Shop
Shops
Pants
More quotes by Larry David
I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
Larry David
You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David
Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
Larry David
Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for.
Larry David
Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
Larry David
Golf and dating don't mix.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
Larry David
Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
Larry David
In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
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I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.
Larry David
Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
Larry David
I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away.
Larry David
Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
