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The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Anymore
Change
Really
Shop
Shops
Pants
Stores
More quotes by Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
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I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
Larry David
Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
Larry David
You write about what you know.
Larry David
I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Larry David
I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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Obviously comedic styles do change.
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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
Larry David
My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Larry David
I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
Larry David
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
