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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Onstage
Courses
Course
Talk
Going
Would
More quotes by Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Larry David
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
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I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.
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Golf and dating don't mix.
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Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
Larry David
You write about what you know.
Larry David
You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
Larry David
Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Larry David
Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it.
Larry David
Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
Larry David
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David
I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.
Larry David
I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
Larry David
I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
Larry David
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
Larry David
It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Larry David
Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
Larry David
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Larry David
