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I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
Larry David
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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Inadvertently
Albeit
Decent
Tell
Done
Thing
Life
People
More quotes by Larry David
I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
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Making a woman laugh. What is that about? And the prettier the woman, the more satisfaction I get. It doesn't make any sense, but I'm being honest.
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The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
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It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
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Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
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If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
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I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
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There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
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