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Golf and dating don't mix.

Larry David

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Larry David
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Sheepshead Bay
Brooklyn
Lawrence Gene David
Lawrence Gene Larry David
the greatest man alive
Dating
Golf

More quotes by Larry David

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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
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I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Larry David
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I couldn't walk up to a woman at a bar and say hello.
Larry David
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
Larry David
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I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.
Larry David
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All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Larry David
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Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.
Larry David
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I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
Larry David
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Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
Larry David
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I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
Larry David
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You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.
Larry David
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I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
Larry David
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
Larry David
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Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
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Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Larry David
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When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
Larry David
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Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
Larry David
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I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.
Larry David
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I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.
Larry David